Case Study

Reclaiming Authenticity

Fred (not his real name) always had to be right and in control. He couldn't admit when he didn't know something or when he made a mistake. Fred perceived not knowing as a sign of weakness. He spent a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to look good, thinking that was what he needed to do in order to gain respect and succeed.

But 'always knowing' was taking its toll. Fred could never rest. He was terrified that he might be 'found out'. He couldn't take time off because someone else might show him up while he was away. And he couldn't let people really get to know him, so he felt isolated and his relationships at work suffered. People felt they couldn't trust him, so they didn't come to him when there were problems. On several occasions, Fred was blindsided by financial shortfalls because his people were afraid to tell him the truth.

Although Fred aspired to continue advancing in his organization, he had lost his passion for his work and was dissatisfied with his situation.

One of the first things his CBL Associates coach did was help Fred reconnect with that time in his career when he had been satisfied and successful. She also spoke with Fred's colleagues who shared that they wanted him to be more real, more approachable, to share his vast knowledge and love of the business and to let them contribute. They wanted to be recognized for their efforts. All of these things were part of the past that Fred had once enjoyed. They were part of the authentic side of Fred that he had lost in his climb up the corporate ladder.

With this information and the guidance of his coach, Fred realized that he was hiding behind a façade that was preventing him from being his authentic self. So, we explored other ways of operating. He practiced being more open and honest about his abilities and concerns. He began admitting what he didn't know and asking for help. He started listening more and implementing others' ideas. He began publicly acknowledging others' contributions, rather than claiming them as his own. As a result, his genuineness, credibility, and trustworthiness increased. His productivity, and that of his team, improved. Bottom line results, along with his job satisfaction and the morale of those around him, soared.

In a follow up conversation he told me "I always thought my power was in being right and knowing it all, but now I understand that my power is in being real."